What's in a Name?

A commenter at LT's place (check the third comment) brings up the issue of how teachers and students address each other. Since I had a particular (peculiar?) stance on this when I was subbing, I wanted to lay it out.

First, I should say that I think it's within a person's rights to determine their own name, even a high school student. Obviously this could conflict with both common sense and generally established rules around so-called decency; I prefer to handle such situations on a case-by-case basis.

That said, here was my approach: Most subs write their name on the board before students came in: "Mr. X" or Ms. Y."

I just wrote 'Dennis'. No last name, no Mr. Sometimes I would write "Sub's name:" in front of it.

Needless to say, this resulted in a lot of confusion from students, especially early on. They would ask - "Is that your first name?" "Can we really call you that?" "Where is the Mr.?"

When that happened, I would tell them yes, that is my first name. I prefer you call me by that, though if calling me Mr. Dugan is more comfortable to you, you are welcome to do that.

Then I would drop the proverbial bomb: I would tell students they could call me whatever they wanted as long as it was not vulgar. Generally, this resulted in a fair amount of laughter; however, very few students ever used anything but my name. I chose that route because I felt it was a way for students to know that I was relaxed and had a sense of humor.... and because it was true. If it made students happier, I was perfectly willing to be known as Sparkle McFluffypants (though none of them ever thought of that, thank goodness).

After several months, I would hear whispers among students right after the bell: "Is that his name? What do we call him?" Students who knew me would explain to others how it worked. I was always amused by that.

The other thing I would tell classes, when they kept asking questions about why I chose to be on a first-name basis with them, was some version of this: Calling someone "Mr." is done as a sign of respect. Demanding that students call teachers Mr. (or Mrs, Miss, or Ms.) does not mean that students actually respect teachers - in fact, I would say, you know and I both know you can use an honorific and not respect them. Therefore, I don't see the point. Call me what you want - and I will do the same, as long as it's not vulgar.

Like I said, students almost never called me anything but my name, and when they did, it was usually funny and not vulgar. In fact, my favorite nickname was Bear Man - and second to that, Leonidas. Go figure.

Anyway, the point of the post is this: Instituting a set of guidelines around how students are forced to address teachers seems unlikely to create respect. It might help in creating expectations of specific behavior, or even change the environment a little. But respect? That is and should be accomplished by other means, like the behavior of the staff. How students address the staff is a byproduct of existing conditions, not the other way around (mostly).