An Uncomfortable Car Ride

Last night, as the partner and I were driving home from Portland, we stopped at a gas station just off the freeway in Wilsonville. I usually stop there for a snack and a drink to keep me alert when I'm driving back at night from Portland.

As we got to the onramp to get back on the freeway, I saw a a woman who looked roughly my age with her thumb out, trying to hitch a ride south. Making a split-second decision (and checking with the copilot, who really didn't have time to do anything but stammer 'sure'), I pulled the car over and got out. As it turned, she was not alone - there was a guy sitting about 20 feet up the road who I hadn't seen at first. They put their bags in the trunk and off we went. They made small talk for about 15 minutes - where you from, what do you do, this is why I'm hitchhiking, etc. - and then fell asleep.

Anyway, we gave them a ride all the way to exit 228, where they promptly woke up, got their stuff, and headed off into a field to camp. Since they had started in Portland, the ride we gave was 60 of their 80 miles of progress for the day, something that made me feel good.

Here's the thing, though, and the reason I'm posting about this at all: the whole experience was really, really uncomfortable for me. And, as far as I know, the copilot. I was actually on edge for a bit after they first got in the car. They were trying to make conversation, but we were both pretty tired. We answered minimally, and after 15 or so minutes, they fell asleep - but I didn't relax.

All sorts of weird scenarios were running through my head, the big two being: 1) What if we get pulled over and they have drugs? and 2) What if they do something dangerous? (I should note that we saw at least 4-6 police cars with lights going on the drive down - they seemed to be out in force last night.)

I had no rational reason to think of either scenario, but I did. Constantly. It was frustrating, because based on everything they said, they were really nice folks who had made conscious decisions to travel cheaply and explore the world - a stance I wholly support. Nevertheless, I was at least mildly nervous until the last mile or so before they got off.

I'm chalking at least part of my being uncomfortable, and probably most of it, up to some screwy socialization and lack of experience on my part. But it still sucked.

I also found myself thinking that they were so eager to have a conversation at first because they felt pressured to entertain the people giving them a ride, an assumption that I had challenged at the end of the ride when I realized they were just doing what they always did - trying to get to know people. That was a major part of the reason they were traveling, after all.

All in all, it was an experience that was both unsettling and gratifying. And to be honest, if I had seen the guy before I stopped, I probably wouldn't have pulled over. The idea of giving a lone woman a ride was far more appealing than giving a ride to two people, one of whom is a man. Not to mention that if they had been much older than us, I would never have stopped. I felt safer having two of us and one of them, and having that one person be a woman, and having them be a similar age. Not because I don't think a woman is capable of doing something harmful, but because as a lone woman traveler, she's less likely to have reason to.

Yeah, I know - that's also fucked up. But it's what went through my head. Thoughts?